The Whole30 Week Two: No One Has Been Killed… Yet

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One would think that the first week of Whole30 would be the most difficult, right? Nope. That shit was practice compared to the dumpster fire of feelings that week two of Whole30 brought on.

Week two started with really tight pants and ended with a struggle with each and every one of the five stages of grief.

According to the Whole30 timeline, week two is supposed to be the worst of all weeks. Sounds about right. My husband started his second week feeling sick to his stomach, while my stomach issues were mainly of the bloating and the, er, gaseous variety.

Our minds were also fighting the long withheld belief that because we’re doing so well, we needed a food reward. And doesn’t that make sense? What do we tend to reward ourselves or our kids with when something amazing happens? A night out to dinner, ice cream, our favorite snack? This totally made sense to me but nonetheless, I was near tears one day because it became too much to fight.

I C-H-E-A-T-E-D.

Yep. I struggled though the temptation to cheat while making graduation cap cupcakes for my daughter’s kindergarten class. I didn’t cheat while making them; while all of these rich, delicious, piles of sweetness sat before me. Not even the slightest of temptation.

Then, a few days later, I opened the freezer to find a bag of peanut butter cups call out to me. I stared into the freezer.

I unwrapped one slowly, like I was unwrapping the greatest Christmas present ever. I slowly brought it to, and popped it in, my mouth like I was part of some weird food porn scene. I chewed. I swallowed. 

Guess what. It wasn’t worth it. It tasted weird, like all my days without sugar had actually cleansed my system. Okay, so I still totally wanted more, but I think it was much like when I quit smoking. The desire for that sweet cancer stick is still sometimes there, but I know it’s going to taste like the smell of a wet ashtray.

Continuing on, I had a few days where I had a TON of energy, which I thought was a better sign, but still had cravings. More specifically, my beloved popcorn and the ice cream around which I had to create a post. UGH! Also, I had to hear my husband brag about how loose his pants were feeling.

To this, I can report proudly, that I didn’t even punch him.

In a few days, according to the Whole30 Timeline, “TIGER BLOOD” week is supposed to start, though I might be behind since I cheated. This is when the downhill feeling starts (in a good way) and things are supposed to be easier. Though, I can report, I know it won’t be on our wallet because this shit is expensive. Bawlers, we are not.

I can report that, even though I wasn’t “feeling it” I have lost…

5.2 pounds!

The journey continues on…



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